Do you also procrastinate making phone calls? ☎️
Don't worry, this doesn't mean you're somehow bad at freelancing.
I’m always happy when we get emails from readers of The Friendly Freelancer. Particularly when they are emails that make me realise that I’m not the only one struggling with something. Take phone anxiety for instance. Having worked as a journalist for many years, I’m used to being on the phone a lot. When I work from home by myself, I even enjoy talking to people on the phone. Yet there are times that I dread picking up the phone.
This is what Ellen Jansegers, a freelance creative writer and self-described introvert, emailed us about. “I can drag my feet on making phone calls for days on end. These are calls about really stupid things – rescheduling a hair salon appointment, or booking a table for dinner. I try to make as many reservations as I can online; thankfully, a lot of places today offer that option. If I really have no choice but to pick up the phone, I put a reminder in my agenda. A reminder which I then move to the next day, and then the day after that, and so on…”
When Ellen has her back against the wall and is left with no choice but to pick up the phone, it turns out that talking to people over the phone is not really the problem. “Once I have my interlocutor on the line, it’s usually easy for me to chat with them. When I later press the red phone symbol, I think to myself: ‘Why do I turn this into such an ordeal?’ It’s the built-up tension before pressing the green phone symbol that makes the whole thing unbearable. Sometimes, when I’m feeling really brave, I make all my phone calls in one go. This produces the ultimate dopamine rush and one that lasts for hours at that. But more often than that, I’m the ultimate procrastinator.”
Ellen wanted to know if there was a way to solve her aversion of phone calls, and of prospect calls in particular. Because surely a freelancer who balks at cold calls is likely to lose out on client opportunities, right? Given that I’m hardly a pro at phone calls myself, I gave Marloes Bouwmeester, … er, a call. She is a Dutch trainer who offers master classes and coaching to introverted professionals.
Not every person who has phone anxiety is an introvert – almost all Gen-Z’ers prefer texting over phone calls – but introverts are more likely to have phone anxiety. Marloes suggests finding out why you find making phone calls stressful. “Introverts typically want to be able to gauge their conversation partner, but that is difficult when calling up a stranger. You also don’t know whether they’ll have time when you call them up,” Marloes explains. “That uncertainty can be scary.”
A lot of introverts moreover have a loud inner critic, i.e. a voice that imagines the worst-possible scenarios and places high demands. “That inner critic tells you you have to immediately get to the point; that you have to be persuasive and spontaneous. You don’t in advance know whether you’ll be able to and that causes tension. Plus, when it comes to prospect calls specifically, many introverts find it uncomfortable to take something from someone, without giving something back. They want a balance between giving and taking.”
It can be helpful to consider that you are also giving something as a caller, Marloes says. If you reach out to someone at someone else’s suggestion, it will often make that person happy to hear that someone sees them as an expert. You are also giving someone the opportunity to share something about themselves with you and to be listened to. “Try to articulate for yourself in advance: What am I giving by calling up this person? This can already relieve some of the tension,” Marloes explains.
The discomfort you feel when making cold calls can also be an important signal. Perhaps this is your body telling you that cold acquisition is not for you. And that’s OK. “We have this image in our heads of how we should come across to land clients – chatty, quick-witted and persuasive,” Marloes explains. “I believe there’s another way. To network in a way that matches your personality and natural head start, so the thing you excel at naturally, is much more effective.”
Marloes herself also used to think that she had to sell in a highly proactive way as an entrepreneur, but this did not at all dovetail with her natural head start. Instead, she started blogging about how to look at situations differently as an introvert. Readers who visited her website could directly book an appointment with her.
“I would encourage professionals to find out what is within their comfort zone. To do this, you must gain insight into the things that you naturally excel at. I know many succesful introverts who don’t go to networking events, who don’t do cold calls and who are nevertheless visible. If, like [Ellen] you enjoy writing, perhaps writing and having people broach a conversation with you is the way to go,” Marloes explains.
And that’s good news for freelancers with phone anxiety since we don’t have to obey a boss’ order to do prospect calls. Still, Marloes says that she sees a lot of self-employed individuals networking in ways that don’t suit them – because an inner voice keeps telling them that’s how these things are done. “Your inner critic is the worst possible boss you could have,” Marloes notes. I want to put that on a plaque and hang it over my desk.
What if you don’t have a choice and you truly have to pick up the phone? Marloes offers a few final tips to ease your pain. “Schedule a call by email in advance so that you can be sure that you are not calling people at a bad time. Create a document summarising the most important information you want to touch on and also send that over via email. You will feel less pressure to touch on every single point during the call. If your nerves get the best of you during the call and you realise that you may possibly be forgetting a few things, you can also refer back to this document.”
Do you also have a freelancing-related question that you would like us to look into? Get in touch with us at freelancerthefriendly@gmail.com
Catch you soon,
Selma